Ten.

get off them.

sign-off

I have to confess that I didn't watch Katie Couric's debut on the CBS Evening News last night. However, on the way to work this morning, I heard on the radio that instead of coming up with her own sign-off, she had a video montage of other broadcasters' sign-offs. What a friggin’ copout. You have how many months to prepare for this, and you can't think of one simple line as your sign-off?

On CBSNews.com they have a link where you, the viewing public can submit your suggestions for what should be Katie's sign-off. I didn't want to make mine too outlandish and just be that guy that submits something incredibly stupid. So, I wanted to make mine something that could possibly be her new sign-off, but still very stupid. If she were to use my line...oh man...

So, here is what I submited (in bold)...

"Well, there is your news for tonight. I am Katie Couric...and you are America. Goodnight."


I challenge any of you to submit something and share it with us here. Together, we can get this done.

happy 700th, america.

In case you missed it, yesterday (July 4) marked America's 700th birthday. I know, you are thinking that if 1776 was when America was born, then how are we at 700 already? Three words:

President Bush.

He's that good, everyone. Seriously. He squashes Evil Doers with his fist and gets America to 700 years old in record time. Give the dude some props next time you see him.

So we watched the fireworks from our front lawn last night. Actually, we watched them on the connecting house's lawn which has no one living in it. So, yes, we did run the risk that if someone were to decide to buy, close and move in the house between 8:30 and 9:30 pm last night, we would have had some very awkward explaining to do. But I would like to think that if that were to happen that the patriotic mood and jovial spirit of America would prevail and they would totally understand.
When the fireworks started, I decided that would be the guy in the group or crowd of people that always tried to explain each firework. The guy that would tell everyone else what the actual names of each firework were. So in case you didn't have that guy by you last night, here are some common fireworks and their proper names...

"Gerber Daisy D-Light Firecracker"


"Blue-Red-Green-Awesome Firecracker"


"Intergalactic-Planitary, Planitary-Intergalactic Firecracker"



"Firecrackers with Annoying Big Thing in Front of it Firecracker"


"'Oh Crap', that Really Sucks Firecracker"

it's not a bird or a plane...just a new post.

Dang, kids. My bad. It's been so long, I'm lucky you're even reading this. I'm lucky you even checked back with me. Just in time for me to go on a week's vacation. But before I go, I have a movie review. And there's something special about this movie review. It's for a movie which I bet, none of you (unless your name is Andy, John Rhine, or Marc) have seen.

This week I (along with the previously mentioned) went to the Arts Conference at Willow Creek in Chicago. We were there with about 5,000 other artists from around the country. On the first night, they made an announcement that they were going to be giving away 500 tickets to see Superman Returns, which isn't released until June 28th. Okay, enough with me bragging and on to the review...

THE REVIEW

Superman Returns builds on the previous Superman movies under the premise that Superman has left Earth for 5 years to visit Planet Krypton after astronomers think they discover remains of the planet off in space(The idea of Superman flying in space by himself for 5 years is very cool to me). When he comes back to Earth, he finds that Lois Lane has a fiance' and a child.

First, I'll give the bad. I thought that Kate Bosworth as Lois was a bad choice. I don't have any better ideas for you, but she seemed too young and she doesn't do much for me. I mean, I think the Son of Krypton could do A LOT better than this version of Lois. At least bring back Teri Hatcher.
Please, for the love of everything that is good and pure, bring back Teri Hatcher.

That was pretty much it for the bad. Minus a few plot question marks, there wasn't a whole lot that left me empty-handed. Let's move on to the good and the great...

I was perhaps most excited about Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor. He didn't knock it out of the park, but did a very good job. I would have liked to see a little more humor come from Lex in this one, but still a decent balance of comedy and hatred came from Spacey.
But the best part of the whole movie was Brandon Routh, who played Superman. I was glad they cast an "unknown" for the role, and he did not disappoint. With the movie building on the previous franchise, Routh looked liked and sounded like Reeves in the first four movies. I honestly don't think he could have done anything to do a better job.

THE BOTTOM LINE
Superman exceeded my expectations with great action, story, and link to the previous movie. It doesn't really try to invent a new Superman, but adds on the existing work done. I'd rank it as the best recent comic-movie release, just barely topping Batman Begins and X-Men

**** (out of 5)

I know how I've already talked about how good a role-model Albert Pujols is, but I thought that in the midst of all the Barry Bonds crap, I'd throw some quotes from a Pujols interview yesterday.

When asked about steriods...

"You’re not going to find anything about me. I don’t care. They can think whatever they want. They can test me everyday if they want. I don’t care. I don’t care what people think.

I don’t play for those people. I play for my God and savior Jesus Christ. And I play for my family and teammates. And at the end of the day I can do that and I can glorify his name."

"I don’t need any type of things like that to help me out with my game. I just take the flesh that the good Lord has given me to perform, and to glorify his name every day and to help my team to win. I don’t need to do anything more than what I was doing in the past or doing right now. I’m happy with my career so far, and what I’m doing with my career. So I don’t need anything extra.”


On Barry Bonds...

"It’s really sad the life that he’s leading. I look at myself and I never want to lead a life like that. If I have to lead a life like that, I’d better quit this game. Because that’s not what it’s all about. It’s about God and my family and my family comes before this game.”

on empty...

I must apologize for the lack of new posts on my part. With moving into our new house soon and all the prep that goes into that, I have a feeling that more recent blogs are going to become even fewer and more far-between. I need to put up a new podcast soon, but that takes even more time. I'm not proclaiming the end of my blog, but I am asking you don't get mad at me and break up with me if I don't post as much.
Who knows--maybe next week I'll feel like blogging more and this post will be irrelevant. Hopefully when we get settled in our new home I can continue bringing you the absolute best you've come to expect from blogging and podcasting.

If you haven't seen Guster's new episode of "Joe's House", go to their website and check it out. Good stuff.

I love you,
Jeremiah

'sup dawg....

I had the weirdest encounter with a doctor the other day. I won't go into too many details, but all I will say is that my appointment ended not with the traditional handshake, but with my doctor extending his fist to me as if I just hit a home-run for the Yankees and him saying, "Alright, you take it easy, dawg!"

I told Dave about this, and he asked me if I "splashed" my hand after our two hands punched through. I totally wish I did, but I was too taken aback by a doctor's punch-through.

El Hombre.

We've officially entered an era. After watching Pujols' Easter Sunday, 3 home-run, walk off bottom of the 9th homer, I've realized that we are watching history. There comes a player like this once maybe twice in a generation. When he's done, we may very well be talking about Ruth, Mantle, Williams, Aaron and Pujols.

Jeff Gordon of the Post-Dispatch wrote today, "You can make a compelling case that this guy isn’t even human."

Welcome to Baseball Heaven

is the new slogan for the Cardinals this year. Last night I made my first trek to Busch III. I heard a few mixed reviews about it - mostly good, but I wanted to form my own opinion. I actually went in expecting to be disappointed a bit.

How foolish of me! Ha ha ha ha!

So, here's my Busch Stadium report:

The Good:- Some haters (some Cubs fans), are already knocking the stadium because it's supposed to be a "throw back" ballpark. I actually couldn't disagree more. The stadium blends marvelously with the existing downtown architecture with a mix of red brick and metal truss work that is to give honor to the Eads Bridge that connects Illinois to Missouri. The result is not throw-back, not modern, but a building that matches beautifully the rest of downtown St. Louis.

- The concessions are about 50x better. Busch II had nothing really special in the way of food (minus the Kosher Dog), but BIII has really stepped it up with a variety of different stands (The Gashouse Grill, Dizzy's Diner, El Birdos Cantina, ect...) that offer different options.

- Wide open concourses and tons of open space to hang out and still watch the game make the experience more than just sitting in your seat. 3-tier walkways around the main pillars in the outfield are especially cool.

The Bad:
- The out of town score board scrolls through the scores as opposed to displaying them all at once. Just annoying.

- From where I was sitting, I couldn't hear the P.A. hardly at all. One big complaint from the opener was that the sound system was too loud, so I don't know if they turned it WAAAY down or if it was my seat.

- The retired numbers and World Series Championship banners are too small.

The Great
- The view. With the Arch, the courthouse and skyline just beyond the outfield wall make for what could be the best view in all of baseball.


Up at the top is one of the 60 pictures I took. I'll try to get them up on an on-line album soon...

Amen!

time-out

I don't like to alienate my own readers, but I have to express some frustration/disappointment. Half of you who voted on my on-line poll voted for "what's Arrested Development? Turn on According to Jim!" It's shows like this that clutter our screens and make it impossible for smart, funny and innovative shows like Arrested Development, Sons & Daughters, Family Guy and others to make it.

I must say that if half of you DO watch According to Jim, then we need to have a heart-to-heart. Not over the internet, but in person.
I will drive to wherever you are, and we'll talk through it. Together through love and support, we can make it through this. There IS light at the end of the tunnel.

Get up, baby! Get up!!!

Today marked day 2 of the baseball season. The Cardinals opened the 2006 season in style beating the Phillies 13-5. A few of the highlights include but were not limited to..

-Albert Pujols hitting 2 home runs including a 700 ft shot later in the game
-Scott Rolen hitting a grand slam in the midst of Boos against his former team
-Newcomer Aaron Miles going 4-5 in his debut with the Cardinals
-Yadier Molina with 2 hits and sweet new road gear
-Defending Cy Young, Chris Carpenter picks up where he left off with a win
-Young bullpen arms Brad Thomson and Adam Wainwright looking real sharp

And just for poops and giggles, Anthony Reyes who could easily be pitching and excelling in the majors right now if not for the Cardinals' stacked rotation threw a now hitter for the Memphis Redbirds last night.

#$%&!!!!!

I, Jeremiah Cox now proclaim that Tuesday, March 28 will live in vain and be known as "Black Tuesday".

band names

I'm going to start a band.
I'm also going to have the band name pay homage to my one of my favorite TV shows. The following are possible band names for my guitar band. Let's see if you can guess what names go with what shows...

1. Temocyle
2. Gobias
3. The Paper Merchants
4. 4 8 15 16 23 42
5. Jeremiah and the Sintox Nerves
6. Operation Hot Mother
7. Wyndem and Hogg

Episode 5

**The Spring Training Show** In the 5th episode, Jeremiah and Tim "discuss" the upcoming baseball season. They predict the outcome of each division, talk about the WBC, and do a position-by-position comparison of the Cubs and Cardinals. For those who are brave enough to actually listen to the entire 57 minutes, hear the password, be the first to e-mail it to thejeremiahcoxshow@gmail.com and you can win a The Jeremiah Cox Show t-shirt and a mug! You can download Episode 5 off iTunes or here.

peace!

R.I.P.
9/05 - 3/06

ding!

Kortny and I were in the mood for some sugar cookies to eat during 24 on Monday. Having never made sugar cookies from *scratch* before, like typical Generation "Y"ers, we looked up the recipe on the internet. I almost felt like no matter how good the cookies turned out, they would not taste as good to me because they were derived from The Internet.

Sure enough, we made the cookies, sat down for some Jack Bauer and bit into our sugary creation. If you ever take anything I say as Gospel truth, take this:

They were the hardest cookies ever created by man.

I'm talking, when you drop one on a plate, you seriously worry for the life of your plate. HARD COOKIES. So what did we do with them?

*Throw them away?
No. I don't want to choke some animal that may go through our garbage outside.

*Put them down the garbage disposal?
No. I don't feel like paying my apartment to replace it.

*Burn them?
I don't have a blowtorch...do you?

*Take them to school, place them on a saucer in the middle of the table in the teacher's lounge with a note that says, "Sugar Cookies!! Enjoy!"

Yes.

All-Young team

The players had to meet one of the three following criteria...
- 25 years old or younger
- Played 2 1/2 years or less in the majors
- Going to be a rookie this year (projected awesomeness)

Catcher- Yadier Molina (Cardinals)
1st Base - Prince Fielder (Brewers)
2nd Base - Jorge Cantu (Devil Rays)
Short Stop - J.J. Hardy (Brewers)
Third Base - David Wright (Mets)
Left Field - Matt Murton (Cubs)
Center Field - Grady Sizemore (Indians)
Right Field - Matt Holliday (Rockies)

Starting Rotation
- Jake Peavey (Padres)
- Rich Harden (A's)
- Zach Duke (Pirates)
- Dan Haren (A's)
- Anthony Reyes (Cardinals)

Closer
- Huston Street (A's)

Congrats to those who made this team. You are young, and you are good.

the magic of editing...

Well done, college students with nothing else to do...well done.

gross.

Not only is this absolutely disgusting, but I think one would die a fool's death about 15 minutes after consuming this monstrosity.

"The Grizzlies and Krispy Kreme Doughnuts have teamed up to create “Baseball’s Best Burger.” The burger, which was introduced at Gateway’s December 10th sale, consists of a thick and juicy burger topped with sharp cheddar cheese and two slices of bacon. The burger is then placed in between each side of a Krispy Kreme Original Glazed doughnut."

I'm all for a bacon cheese burger...but hamburger, bacon, cheese and doughnut?



Yes, please.

Top TV characters...

***Programming note*****
Episode 4 of The Jeremiah Cox Show in previous post
************************


The hole in my heart that has been left by Arrested Development is being temporarily band-aided by 24. Anyone who does not watch this show is missing some of the best TV. Forget CSI-Toledo, Greys, The War at Home...all that. The only show that can come close to 24 in terms of quality, story line, and twists is Lost. But even considering how much I love Lost, I would choose to watch 24 over it if the two aired at the same time.

Last night's 2-hour 24 blew my pants off, and I'm still not wearing any out of respect for last night's episode.

I think if I could make any television character come to life, Jack Bauer would be atop my list. Who else is on my list? You ask and you shall receive...

List of TV characters I would like to see become real-life people

1. Jack Bauer (24)
2. Buster Bluth (Arrested Development)
3. David Brent (The Office - BBC)
4. GOB Bluth (Arrested Development)
5. Cosmo Kramer (Seinfeld)
6. Carlton Banks (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air)
7. Kelly Kapowski (Saved by the Bell)
8. Newman (Seinfeld)
9. Gareth Keenan (The Office - BBC)
10. John Locke (Lost)


"I'm Jack freaking Bauer and there's nothing you can do about it." *






* Not an actual quote. This is the author's interpretation of how ridiculously awesome Jack Bauer is.

Episode 4

In the 4th installment of The Jeremiah Cox show, Jeremiah makes a noun into a verb, finds out what "titular head" means, and answers his e-mail. Ricky Gervais may be charging for his podcasts, but Jeremiah will only charge your heart. You can download the lasts episode at iTunes or here.

James vs. Pujols

Bill James, the man who the book Money Ball is really based off of, has come up with a system to project players' lifetime stats. Don't ask me how he does it, but he does it. James is also the Red Sox baseball operations consultant and has turned down numerous opportunities to be GM for Major League teams.

With Derek Lee's monster year last year, he bumped his projected career totals by 100 home runs. So, Lee's projected homeruns? 474. Not bad.
I'm not comparing these two to prove a point of who's better or anything. I just have the stats for these two players.

What about Albert Pujols?

2,507 RBIs, 3,845 hits, a .325 career average and … 830 homers

don't _____ to a teacher.

First, in case you haven't seen it, I have a new podcast below this post.

One of my students called me a "fruit lin". Whatever a Fruit Lin is. But I know it's not good. So, in response to him calling me a Fruit Lin, I told him (after yelling for a few minutes) that he needed to go down to the in-school suspension room and write me 2 full pages, small handwriting what it means to be respectful to adults. I told him that if I went down there and he wrote a page and 3/4, then he'd have to write 3 pages. And if he wrote 2 and 3/4 pages, he'd have to write 4. I also told him that if it took him the whole day, then he'd be down there the whole day.
This morning, I got back the paper he wrote. It took him all day. Here are some of my favorite lines. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried...

"Don't crack jokes on a teacher to be cool."
"Never call a teacher by his or her first name."
"Just go along with the flow."
"Never call a teacher unfair or a racist."
"Don't get smart if the teacher mispronounced your name."
"When someone else talks back to a teacher, don't yell out 'treat!' or 'treated!'"

And my favorite...

"When speaking to a teacher or an adult, never greet them with 'what's up bro' or 'what's the dilli yo'. Simply say 'hello' or 'hi'".

Episode 3

In the 3rd podcast, Jeremiah interviews T.J. Alumbaugh and has a heated, yet loving conversation. Also, the segment, "Word of the Week" makes it's debut with Scott Wentworth as the weekly contributor. This is the episode you'll be telling about to your grandchildren when your 85. And if you are 85, God bless your soul!

You can download episode 3 on iTunes or here.

Episode 2

In the second Jeremiah Cox Show, Jeremiah vents about Arrested Development, interviews his nephew, Free, and reads listeners' e-mails. He hopes that after his interview with Free, that Gabriel will be able to take time out of his busy schedule for an interview.

You can download the latest podcast off iTunes or download it...here.

booh-yah.

<----- picters...free

I walked into school today and I saw a sign taped up on the wall. It was written on computer paper and it said, "Picters" and underneath that word was written "Free" and then an arrow pointing to my left, your right. The as if it wasn't bad enough that someone at my ghetto school spelled the word "pictures" "picters", the handwriting looked as it would if I would have attempted writing this sign with my left-hand (I'm right handed). I was tempted by two things.

1. To follow the crooked arrow and see where it led me.
2. To take down the sign and keep it.

What kind of picters were these? And why were they giving them away...at no charge?!? Maybe they were picters of giant redwood trees. Or of Saturn. Or of people. Whatever they were, they were well worth the price.


One another note, only 7 people have downloaded my podcast. SEVEN! C'mon, people!
I'm officially on iTunes now. On the iTunes page, click on podcasts on the left-hand side. Then click on search. Type in "Jeremiah". You can subscribe to it so it automaticaly downloads on your computer.


Picters
Free
<-----

Episode 1

So I told you I had some huge news coming. I'm debuting my first ever podcast. It's going to be called The Jeremiah Cox Show. You can download the first episode...here.

I hope to get his up and going on iTunes so you can download and subscribe to it there. I'm going to answer listener e-mails every show, and I hope to have a special guest on most shows. You can e-mail the show at TheJeremiahCoxShow@gmail.com


Enjoy!

HUGE.

There's a BIG announcement coming your way. I will give you one clue at the end of this post. But first, I'll tell you some things that it's not going to be...

- I'm not having a kid
- I'm not moving
- I'm not quitting my job
- I'm not gay
- I'm not trying out for the 2nd base opening on the St. Louis Cardinals
- I'm not signing a record deal
- I'm not about to start drink coffee



CLUE: I'm about to shake your digital world.

Welcome back, Mr. Cox!

My first period with kids, and here is a conversation I had with a student...

Student - Mr. Cox, the sub said that you focus too much on our assignment notebooks and not enough on our actual assignments.

Mr. Cox - Oh really? The sub doesn't know what in the wolrd she's talking about.

S- She's more experienced than you are.

C- She's been with you for 2 weeks. I've been with you for 2 years. She has no business saying that.

S- She's better than you are.

C- [ignore]

S- That's what I thought.

C- Leave.

S- What?

C- Leave! Go do the discipline office!

S- Huh?

C- I didn't stutter. You aren't going to talk to me like that. Get out of here.


I knew I was going love being back at work.

sorry.

It's not like I've been laying/sitting at my apartment for the past week with NOTHING to do. You'd think I could have blogged some. Here's a gift from me to you. An "I'm sorry" gift. Delivered in the perfect, uncompromising form of the Bluth family...



And for those Buster fans out there...

Role-model

I've never been one to believe that pro athletes should be role-models based on the fact that they're athletes. There are a lot more people out there who have done a lot more important things for kids to look up to. However, I think that if any kid says that Albert Pujols is one of their role-models, I think he or she has picked a pretty darn good one. He's a man of great faith and work ethic.

"People ask me if I believe how quickly my career has taken off. I just tell them Christ is my strength. God has blessed me and I will continue to do my best for Him. That is more important than anything I could ever do in baseball."

This quote is from yesterday...

"I'll go to spring training with the same attitude I took five years ago: I want to make the team," he said following a two-hour autograph session at the Cardinals Winter Warm-Up.

"It sounds stupid because people think I'm on this team, but that's not for sure. There's somebody in the minor leagues who wants to take that job from me just like I did in 2001," Pujols said. "That's the attitude that keeps me humble and keeps me from taking things for granted. I never want to change the attitude I had six years ago in the minor leagues."

I think I'll buy my nephew, Free, a Pujols jersey for his birthday. And then a Jeremiah Cox jersey for Christmas.

can you tell me how to get..how to get to...

I know I'm about 4 years behind on this, but I just read something where the TV show Sesame Street added to its cast a Muppet who was HIV-positive. This blows me away. Her name is Kami, and they showed her scenes in South Africa and other parts of the world where 1 out of every 6 children is HIV-positive.

I know that some people probably put up a stink about this, but all it shows me is that Sesame Street is not just worried about the bottom line-money and ratings. They have worked to be relevant to the children of not only our country but in places that need help maybe even more than here.

My only beef with Sesame Street is that it introduced Elmo, who took all the thunder away from my boy, Grover. Elmo is just a baby talking, ditzy version of Grover. But I'll let stuff like that slide when they step it up with characters like Kami.

Good work, Sesame Street.
Whenever you need someone else to play "Gordon", give me a call.

Bruuuuuuuce!!!!

Yesterday, Bruce Sutter was elected into the Hall of Fame. There was some debate whether he should be inducted in The Hall as a Cub or Cardinal.
He pitched one more season with the Small Bears and won a Cy Young award with them.

He did, however, strike out the final batter in the 1982 season to win the World Series for the Cardinals.

Today, MLB.com said that Bruce Sutter will be wearing a St. Louis Cardinals hat on his plaque.

Then what would he have had to do to go in the hall wearing a Cubs hat?
Maybe if he would have struck out the last batter in the 1908 World Series.



**************Part II*********************
Let's just throw this in for kicks...

Barnes-J-C- Hospital

Kortny and I went to Barnes-Jewish-Catholic Hospital in The Lou yesterday. On Sunday night around 10pm, we got to see the new Busch Stadium being worked on. I must say that I got even more pumped about the new Busch. I found these pictures from inside the stadium. The skyline view is going to be pretty darn incredible.

I'm going to Barnes-Jewish Hospital in St. Louis on Monday for a second opinion.

I wonder if that's a Catholic hospital?

Thanks to Phil, (his blog link to the right) I have discovered an incredible new show called Arrested Development.

It's by far the best show I've seen on network television since Seinfeld. Fox has shown two seasons, and had ticketed this 3rd season for 22 episodes. However, that number has been cut down to 18 in preparation for not renewing the show next year. The only way it is going to be saved is if people like us watch this show and tell our friends. I'm going to have a link on the side of my page to the show's website and the website that's a grass-root movement to try and save the Bluth family.


By the way, the show airs on Monday nights at 7 on Fox.

If you live near me, let me know if you want to borrow some DVD's. I would be more than happy to help you see the light, as Phil helped me.

If you're already a fan of the show visit Save Our Bluths and sign the on-line petition.

in the hizzie

1 new pair of jeans.

1 new pair of scrubs.

8 tickets to the new Busch Stadium.

12 days off of school.

40 episodes of Arrested Development watched.

1 wedding documented by our video cameras.

2 surgeries.

1 trip to the Emergency Room.

I'm back.