chump.

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Dee Brown commited to come to our school today and talk to a group of the students. Honestly, I have NEVER seen a group of people, young or old, get this jacked up about seeing someone. You would have thought that Shaq himself was going to be in the house. Dee was originally supposed to come at 9. At 8:45, his publisist called and said that they would have to pospone until 10 am. The kids sat in the Auditorium anxiously awaiting Dee. He never showed. I've never seen a group of kids so crushed about anything.

Good lesson, Dee. Way to teach these impressionable 6, 7, and 8th graders that it's okay that you don't show up to something. It's okay to commit to something and not follow through. It's even okay to not call and tell someone that, "sorry, I can't make it".

Epecially the kids at our school. If there was ever a school that needed a postive role model, this is it. The only lesson learned today was that its okay to do whatever you want...as long as you are a basketball star. And the sorry thing is that these kids, and even some adults will dismiss it because he has a lot on his plate. Because he plays for a #1 ranked team. Because he is just so darn adorable.

When on the court, Dee is the man. He is "king of the fast break". He is cash money with the 3's. He energizes the team. He is a leader. He's great at stealing the ball.

Well today, Dee, you just dropped it.

look at me now!!!

Let's play a little "before and after", just for poops and giggles.

Barry Bonds

Before...




After...




Mark McGwire

Before...



After...



Sammy Sosa

Before...



After...



I am really proud of these boys. I mean, they eat healthy, take their vitamins, work hard, and become really strong. They can hit a baseball real far. And hard.

How does someone's head get bigger? Literally? How does someone's head literally get bigger?

As far as the baseball cards, Donruss had an ultra-awesome splatter paint. Can I splatter paint my room, mom??? Please!!! Splatter paint is so cool!!
I also love Topps' beautiful wood grain finish their baseball cards.
"What kind of wood is this?"
"I think it's pine"
"Ohhh, pine is good."
"Yeah. Pine's allright."

a great lookin' group of people

I am stressed out to the max today. It is really unbelievable. At one point today, three of my kids had a crisis at the same time. AT THE SAME TIME. One just got punched in the stomach, one lost his binder and was freaking out, and one was being sent to my office because he got kicked out the in-school suspension room. At the same time. Un-freaking-believable.
So, like any good teacher would do, I went to my office and looked up my name in Google to get some enjoyment out of something. I was not disapointed:



Excellent work again, Google. Excellent work.

By Scott Wentworth

The organ player sitting at his perch high above Bloggers Field saw the manager touch his left hand as he approached the mound. The signal to the bullpen must have been received because within moments a panel in the outfield wall swung open revealing a black chasm, not unlike the gap in David Letterman's teeth.

From this darkness emerged a figure unfamiliar to the 1,908 fans in attendance for the first of a three-game series between the River City Champs and the Lakeview Challengers. Earlier that day the Champs had summoned relief pitcher Lefty Gonvalue from the team's Triple-A affiliate, and now the gangly southpaw was jogging across the warning track, on his way to make his Major League debut.

Although the score was now lopsided, the game certainly didn't lack drama. The Challengers jumped on the River City's starter, Gerald Peters, for two runs in the first inning. But after that shaky first frame, Peters settled down and momentum shifted overwhelmingly to the River City side of the field.

Trailing 2-0 in the bottom of the second, the Champs' slugging second baseman doubled home a run to cut the lead in half. The Challengers squandered a prime opportunity in their half of the third, stranding two runners in scoring position. In the bottom of the third, the Champs used gritty, aggressive baserunning--which sometimes toed the line of recklessness--to take a 3-2 lead. Then, in the bottom of the fourth, the Champs' All-Star rightfielder unfurled a corkscrew swing that turned a hanging slider into a three-run homer.

Two innings later, former Challenger "Salty" Larry Baines made Lakeview rue the day they traded him for soon-to-be-washed-up pitcher Bert Ernesto. Baines ignited a two-run rally by bunting his way on to first and then stealing second and third. And when the Champs' speed on the basepaths allowed them to push across an insurance tally in the eighth, the score stood at 9-2.

After the rough first inning, Peters' pitching--backed by several spectacular defensive plays by his shortshop--dominated the Challengers. Since the third inning, Lakeview had managed to get only one baserunner into scoring position, and that runner was thrown out stealing thrid by Champs catcher William Groat.

But here in the ninth, Peters' arm was showing signs of fatigue, so the manager decided to give the recent callup a chance to preserve the seven-run lead.

As the rookie hurler galloped toward the mound from left field, the organist tried to think of an appropriate song to entertain the crowd. The organ player felt the lopsided score merited a mellow tune, so he decided on Tom Petty's "Even the Losers (Get Lucky Some Times).

After Gonvalue completed his warmup tosses, he exhaled deeply and considered the situation. Although he was pitching with a big lead, he didn't want to surrender any runs. He knew that even if the Challengers scored just once, making the score 9-3, they would celebrate as if they won the game."

Enough is enough

It seems my blog has been contaminated by Cubs propaganda recently. I was going to post a piece about why Cubs fans are...well... Cubs fans and such. However, I realized that you all read my words very often, and they may become stale to you. That is why I am going to be bringing in an "outsider" to comment on what has happened here over the weekend.
Scott Wentworth is a graduage of a University of Illinois in Urban-Champaign. Scott got all A's. Then, Scott was going to go to Law school to be a lawyer. He decided to pursue a career in journalism instead. He just recently graduate from Northwestern University where I'm sure he again recieved all A's.
Maybe a B.
I doubt it, though.
Scott now works in Chicago and is also a free-lance sports writer for various newspapers in Chicago. I have asked him to write "My Turn" a piece that might finally shed some light on the contamination that has taken place here at "My Turn". We will be posting his piece later today sometime.
For those who need an illustration, consider this....

It's the 9th inning
"My Turn" walks out of the dugout onto to the mound.
We're calling in the lefty.
Cue the music.
Scott Wentworth is coming in to close the game.

Spring Training

Pitchers and catchers report today. Let's get those final four wins this year...

Parent-Awesome Conferences

Captain's Log.
Today marks Day 1 of 2 for Parent-Teacher Conferences.
Being a Special Education Teacher, I don't have as many students as other teachers. Also, because of IEP meetings, most of my students' parents won't come to PTC's because they will just come to the IEP in the Spring. So, from 4-8 tonight and from 8-11 tomorrow, I am in my little cute office. Chillin. Not like a villian. But like Bob Dylan.
I assume most of you reading this, however have met me in person.
How would you feel going to your PTC for your child, the child you brought into this world, care for, love, look after, and you see his teacher is some punk 23 year old with spikey/messy hair, earrings, and a leather cuff on his wrist? Good thing Kortny doesn't want me to get a tatoo, or they'd be staring at a Cross on the underside of his forearm, too.

Parent- "See, Honey. That's what we get for raisin' our kid in a liberal college town. We get one of those metrosexual teachers".

So, if you read this sometime today and tomorrow, drop me a question about your kid's education. I'll respond to you as if we were having our very own cyber-parent-world - wide- web-teacher-conference.
It will be interactive.
It will be incredible.

Band with no name

Reading Dave's blog, I got the idea for my most recent post. Dave is in a band called Jirish. I have not heard them play, but I have a feeling they are going to rock your world hard.
Because this is my blog, however, I will now turn the attention on to myself. If we were in real life and Dave started promoting his band, I would not take that conversation and start talking about my own band.
But this aint no real life. This is thug-life.
Fo' real.
So I am in a band with my friend Nathan Funk and his wife, Lynnelle. Nathan plays acoustic guitar and does the lead vocals. Lynnelle plays violin/fiddle BGV's. I play the mandolin and the acoustic, electric, and slide guitars. I also do BGV's. We have been trying to figure out a name for our band. We sing Christian music. It's all original music, and most of it is worship-centered.
Ideas of a couple of names we have thrown around so far are:
Edison Central (the name of the two schools Lynnele and I teach at. I thought it actually sounds kind of cool)
Life of Riley (name doesn't mean much, but again, thought it sounded cool)

So here's the shiz-nizzle. I am opening up the comments section to ideas for possible names for the band. I know with this invitation there will obviously be some "wacky" or "funny" names that will be written down. That's fine. Actual cool ideas for names is highly encouraged. If by for some chance we end up using the name you thought up, we will reward you with not one, but two great prizes!
1. A free copy of our CD
2. Your name in the "Thank You" section in the cover of the CD when we come out with it this summer.


So, have at it!

Long days

Yesterday and today are days where I pretty much leave The Baytowne before 7 am and don't get back until after 8 pm. These are days that I have to question why I work two jobs and why my checkbook doesn't reflect that. Okay, okay, it's not about the money. I know. I'm sorry. Don't get mad at me. Even though I am busy during all these times, it does allow me to have some extra time to think. To graze in the meadow of thought in the vast valley of my brain. Here are some things that have been circling around in my head yesterday and are on the schedule for today.
1. How sweet is it that Abe and Mandy are engaged? Even more sweet, is how sweet is it that they both never kissed or said "I love you" until they were engaged?
2. I wonder if Mandy will be jealous that Abe has told ME that the loves me. Even though we are not engaged. Hmm.
3. If TJ moves to Boston or San Fransicso, can I have all his computers?
4. If I can't have all his computers when he moves, can I have all his computers when he is dead?
5. I wonder if Motorola can make me a new guitar.
6. I wonder if I sprung my ankle and broke my neck jumping off a basketball rim, who I would rather have right away to ade me. Dave the murse, or Adam the sports therapist?
7. I wonder if Kortny wishes she was not related to Anne.
8. If George W. Bush were to become Principal of my school, would he try to take over the other two middle schools in town?
9. I would love to invite Jerry Sienfeld and Larry David to my apartment so we could play "MVP Baseball 2004".
10. I wonder what teams they would choose to be. I would choose the Cardinals.
11. When I try out for the Cardinals next year, I wonder what position I should try for?
12. What would I do if I went to school one day and nobody else showed up. Would I go home and be happy I have a day off, or should I call Kortny and ask her to buy us some roller blades and we can skate around the school?
13. I wonder what people would do if I yelled out, "French Kissing!!!!!!" in the halls really loud in the middle of class.
14. I wonder what people would do if I yelled out, "French Kissing!!!!!" in the middle of church on Sunday.
15. If I counted by 5's all the way to 100, and I did this 5,00o times, how long would that take me?


Those are some of the thoughts that I think of when I have these long, long, workdays. But really, a big ol' congradulations are in order for Abe and Mandy. And as I told Abe on Sunday, I am very pumped for them, and they deserve it and every other blessing that comes their way.

I think I'm going to sing Ashlee Simpson's "Pieces of Me" at their wedding.

Hoop Dreams

I think it was TJ who told me that he would love to come to my morning duty at school just to hear and see what goes on. Well, something excellent happened this morning.

The following is based on true events.*

This morning was butt-cold out. It was 12 degrees with a wind-chill of 8. That's cold. Some of the homies were playing their normal game of b-ball oustide of the school. Then, as it usually does, it only took one of the kids to take a 3/4 length shot to change the whole game to a game of "who can hit the 3/4 court shot" game. Kids were hitting the backboard, but nobody got the cash money shot. Then, one of the bro's took a "Hakeem the dream" shot. It hit the backboard and deflected right on to the side of some kid's face. 8 degrees. Basketball. Fast basketball. 8 degrees, fast basketball, kid's face.
Fantastic.
The kid started holding his face, in great great pain. I don't know what was worse: the kid getting whaled in the face or all is homies totally 100% ignoring their bro in pain. About 5 minutes passed (4 of which the kid spent crouched over, holding his face in his hands) and he he decided to take a shot of his own.
He takes the rock.
He Hakeem the Dream's the ball.
Nothing but frozen net, baby.
It was the American Dream. I think the kid was Republican, too. All the brothers started hootin' and hollerin'. This kid was knocked down, and was all "get up off me!" and he drained the shot others have been trying for 20 minutes.

* The kid didn't actually make the shot. He missed by 15 feet, easily. My Turn used poetic license with this story to make it extra awesome.

Fall from grace

Has there ever been a pro athlete go from so loved to so hated in such a small period of time as Sammy Sosa?
I guess all that steriod, corked bat, jumping-shuffling-kissing fingers touching chest- kissing fingers toucing chest to the camera, leaving before the game has ended caught up to him.
If I am a Cub fan, today is a great day.

Dude, that is sooooooo tight.

My office is the size of my left pant. It's small. I have a large heater in my room and if my window is closed for 3 minutes my room turns hot. I am constantly up and down to adjust my window allowing for the just right amount of 17 degree air to come in. That's right. When it was 2 outside, I had my window open. That's how hot it is in my room. My dancing doesn't help to cool things down, either.

I was driving to the Quest offices this week and I was driving behind a guy in a beat up Hyundai. I wasn't hatin' on the bro. You know, counting it against him that he was driving a Hyundai. Unitl I saw his rear window that had a decal that covered the ENTIRE window that read
"Imports...You hate 'em because you can't affored 'em".
Then I started hatin' on the guy. Dude not only are you driving a cheap crappy brand of car, but you are driving an OLD NASTY cheap crappy brand of car. (please, do not be effended if you drive a Hyundai. It's just this dude)

That entire rear view decal surpassed my other two favorite entire rear view decals...
One in Decatur had a spider's web spanning the whole window and read, "Oh, what a tangled web we have spun".
So true, gansta driving in da hood of Decatur. So very true.

And then my other favorite was at Eastern.
On a Ford ZX2, HUGE letters and numbers that read "ZX2"
As a fellow owner of a Ford ZX2, I can bash this with complete fun. The ZX2 is the cheapest car Ford makes. Sure ZX2 sounds really cool and fast, but let us not forget that just 3 years ago, the ZX2 was called the "Escort".
When you have to put the name of the car you are driving on the rear window, you are probebly one of the coolest people who have ever lived on Earth.

*THE* My Turn

For those who have read the comments section to John's post yesterday, you might have noticed a couple of things.
1. Only one actualy responded to it with anything to do with what he actually wrote. Hey, just cause we might not have met this person in real life doesn't mean you can't take part in conversation with him!
2. I sounded really ticked off at the end.

Where as it is annoying that someone is posting under my name, I really just wanted to give a scare. Did I do a good job? Were you fooled? Hahahahahahahaaha. ha.

Last night I watched the Ilini game.
Because I am a fair weather fan? No.
I have a scale to which I rank sporting events I watch accorinding to my interest in the game. Last night's game started at a 5.5 and ended at a 6. Which is pretty good. Here is what my ranking looks like...

0 - no sports to watch
1 - on par with watching the Bengals vs. Texans
2. on par with watching the Clippers vs. Nets
3. Packers vs. anyone
4. Rams vs. anyone
5. Cubs or Astros vs. anyone (check on the score every few minutes)
6. regular season Cardinals game (sit down and watch the whole game)
7. Cards vs Cubs or Cards vs Astros
8. Blues playoff game
9. Cards in the playoffs
10. Cards in the NLCS or World Series

If you are confused, those examples are just to give you and idea as to how excited I am about a particular game. So, for example, the game last night started on par with a Cubs or Asrtos game, but ended on par with a regular season Cardials game.
About 6.5 is where my stomach starts getting into it. You know, nervous and all that.
It's pathetic, I know.

The New Co-Blogger

Ever since Hifi aquired The_Dude (TJ) as co-blogger, we knew we had to make a move of our own. Something huge. Big. Something really huge and big.
The time is here. We here at "My Turn" have a long standing tradition of bringing you only the best in bloggs, thoughts, and such not. As of 9:41 Central time, I am proud to introduce the newest member of "My Turn"...
John Meredith-Cox

Some of you may not know John personally, but you will very shortly. John brings with him life experiences from places like University of Illinois, Peoria, St. Louis, and to now Paris, France. Even though John is allready primary manager of his own Blog, "Floor Space", he will be a regular contributor to "My Turn".
Some of you will be refreshed by John's intelligent words, good spelling, and overall exceptional grammar. Three things that have been lacking here at "My Turn".

As a new fresh start to this blog, John will be writing under the name "Roland" and I will be writing under the name "Brian Fantana".
John's time is 7 hours ahead of ours, so when we are all sound asleep in our beds, we can rest assured that John will be blogging the night away.

John... she's all yours.

HUGE aquisition

At 10 pm central tonight, My Turn will announce the signing of it's new free agent. After numerous weeks waiting for just the right co-blogger to emerge, we have found the perfect piece of the puzzle.
Beltran?
The_Dude?
Please.

Just wait...

Extreme Football Makeover

Kortny and I were watching Exteme Home Makeover last night. I think this is one of my more underrated TV shows I watch. By that I mean, for how much I actually watch this show and enjoy it when while I am watching it, I really don't talk about it or list it as one of my favorite TV shows. Cheesey, yes. Cool- what they do - yes.
As we were watching it, I was flipping back to the Steelers/Pats game. Kortny was laughing non-stop that I, Jeremiah Christopher Cox, was actually interested in a football game. The reason I was into this was because my good friend, Nathan, is a huge Steelers fan. I would say ALMOST on par with me being a Cardinals fan.

ALMOST , people. Let's not get out of hand here.

So, being the good friend I am, I was merley pulling for the Steelers because I want my friend to have playoff bliss. I know that all of you would or did the same for me when the Cardinals are in the playoffs.
This laughter at my interest of the football game really made me take a long look at my manhood. I mean, I know that I am not a football fan, or a basketball fan. But I do enjoy sports.

So here's my question...

If you were cuddling up next to me instead of Kortny last night, would you be lauging at that the fact that I was flipping to the football game to check on the score? Am I that Unman-ly that the mere thought of me interested in football game makes you laugh?
Let's hear it...

Highlights

Here at "My Turn", we really want to support our links. My brother John's blog, "Floor Space" had probebly the most entertaining post I have read in a long, long time. Without his permission, I would like to copy and paste it here.

Enjoy...

Dear William “Refrigerator” Perry,
You’re awesome! And you’re really big. How much do you weigh!! That’s why your called “The Refrigerator”, because you’re so big. That’s a cool nickname. I want my nickname to be Scooter, because I’m a fast runner. I have the Super Bowl Shuffle on tape, and I watch it all the time. I always fast forward through the boring stuff at the beginning of the tape, though. I only wanna watch the song. My favorite is when he says, “I’m the funky QB!” You didn’t say very much in the song. Why not? I think you are the best football player who ever lived. I would like to play football with you sometime, but I know you’d beat me!! Real bad!!!!
Well, gotta go.
From,
John


Dear Michael Jackson,
Your music is really good. I love it. How did you learn to do the moonwalk? Did someone teach you, or did you figure it out by yourself? Remember when your hair got caught on fire? I would hate it if my hair got caught on fire! Is that tiger that’s in the picture on the Thriller record real? Is it your pet? A pet tiger would be awesome!! I have a dog. My little brother is allergic at it, though, so she stays outside all the time but during the winter we take her to my grandma and grandpa’s house so she can live with them. Do you have a dog? What is your favorite song? Mine is “Walk Like an Egyptian”.
Well, bye!
John


Dear MacGyver,
You are really cool. How do you do all those things with all that stuff? I saw it once where you made a bulldozer stop and all you had was a Swiss Army knife and a 2 by 4. Why do they call them 2 by 4s? Did your boss really go blind? I want to have a jacket like yours. I hope I get one for Christmas. Is MacGyver really your name? It’s a neat name. You’re cool.
Your biggest fan,
John

Dear Alf,
Are you real? That would be neat if you are. Willy’s not very nice. I don’t like him. Your feet are humongous! I hope the Air Force never catches you.
Good Luck!
John

P.S. Do cats taste good?

Jeremiah and Britney sittin' in a tree...

Yesterday I was at school. I was wearing a sweet new shirt that Kortny bought for me. One of the student at school asked me...
"Mr. Cox. That shirt is clean, bro."
"Thanks. My wife bought it for me."
"Your wife Britney Spears?"
"No"
"Oh. I thought I saw you on TV with Britney Spears."
"I wish. But no."
"You have a big ol' house? Big ol' mansion?"
"Again, I wish. But no."
"Shoo. I thought I saw you on TV with Britney Spears and you had a big ol' mansion and sh--."


Not kidding, here folks. The kid was straight up fo real.

Then, this morning when I was on duty on the playground, I heard this from one of the 6th graders playing basketball.

"Shoo. If it was warm up in here, I be drainin' these shots. It be like 2 degrees up my a--."

That's the thought of the day for you all.




"It be like 2 degrees up your a--."

Coffee Revolution

I am actually sitting in a Language Arts school in-service about "Strengthening Students' writing" by Mr. Stephen Peha. So, if this entry is extra awesome in terms of capitalization and writing style, you may give credit to Champaign Unit 4 schools.

Some of you may know my feelings on this next topic. I know Dave and I have talked about this at quite some length. I am, of course, talking about coffee. I hate coffee. Not just the taste, but everything it stands for. Matt encouraged me on Monday to start an anti-coffee revolution. So, if you read what I have to say, and agree, please sign my petition. Here are my reasons why I think coffee "sucks".

1. It does not taste good.
- Now I know that some say it is an "aquired" taste. I believe if you sip, drink, or eat something, you should like it the first time you have it. Why have people drank coffee and thought, "just to be cool, and because I want to be a coffee drinker, I will continue to drink coffee until I have aquired this taste". That's bull, man.

2. People become dependent on it
- Why get hooked on to coffee? Why get yourself into something that you KNOW is going to make you jittery or give you a headache if you don't drink it?? I am tired of people telling me, "don't talk to me until I have my coffee". Get over it.

3. How does a gathering revolve around a "cup of coffee"?
- Who chose coffee to be the queen of beverages? In the 50's, you could meet over a Coke or a Soda, but now its just coffee. Two people can meet somewhere and just have coffee. People don't ask each other anymore to meet over Coke or anything.
"Let's meet over a cup of coffee, okay?"
"No."

4. Free Coffee
- How come work places give free coffee to their employees?? Now, I understand that Motorolla has free hot chocolate to their workers. I am going to buy stock in them now. But why do coffee drinkers get all this free coffee? If I am a sprite drinker, I don't get free Sprite. I have to pay $1.25 for a bottle of Sprite.

I could go on, but I think these are 4 sufficient reasons for starting the revolution.

So, if you want to continue to drink coffee so you can look hip or smart, go ahead. You know it doesn't taste good until you convince yourself after your 100th cop. Get your headaches. Get jittery. Be grumpy until you drink some. You know it's going to to happen. So why do it?

not my desk

One of my fellow teachers asked me to sit at her desk so she can eat luch today. Her two students are in here and they are arguing that one of the students (the much shorter one) got a love letter. The one who go the letter said to his classmate,
"shoo. nobody gotta know my bidness."
very cute.

I anticipated me sitting at a woman's desk to be refreshing. But as I sit here, it is not any less messy than mine or less smelly. I had envisioned a desk of violet smell and of brighter hue. There is a baggy with four mini frosted mini wheats in them. When I look at them, I am reminded as to how great a snack dry mini frosted mini wheats can be. Just be sure you have a bottle of water on hand.

The taller of the two students just turned to me and said...
"I know something you don't know" (sung, of course)
Classic.

I won't tell you what he told me. But to be honest, it rocked my world. He was totally right. He knew something I had NO IDEA about. I mean, it would have never entered my mind if he hadn't brought it up.
Thank you student. Thank you.